So, there are some things that I need to say. And yes, indeed, I need to say them in English because I have no clue how to say "geeking out" in German.
The new year has been quite stressful so far. Huge presentation in January (which went well), tons of tests in school, lots of studying, lots of reading (come on, I need my daily dose of fanfic) and lots of emotional struggles. Yeah, my therapy´s finally over. Which is great. I had to tell my mom - which was not so great. Hell, I will never forget the pain in her eyes. Never. But in the end honesty is the best way (I hope).
It´s hard to fight an addiction you don´t want to admit you have. I´m still fighting. It´s still hard. But it´s getting better.
I´m finally trying to be well, which is incredibly hard but I guess it pays off eventually.
I´m trying to keep myself busy and that works pretty well, especially since school demands all my concentration. Actually it all went better than expected - until I got really sick on the day of my first exam (English). I went to bed on Sunday, thinking "ohkay, everything´s great" and I woke up on Monday thinking "you can´t be serious". I mean, come on, I spent the weekend at home to not get sick and my damned immune system still fucks up. That´s not fair.
I hate it when I get the flu. Coughing up phlegm is not my idea of fun. And it seriously messes with my concentration. Anyway, I had my math exam at Thursday and I think it went okay. It clearly would´ve been better if I were actually healthy. But oh well. At least I could totally geek out over my new, fabulous calculator. Casio fx-991 ES. It can do so many awesome things, calculus-stuff and equations and tables and even complex numbers (which is totally awesome!). And integrals!
...maybe I should think about studying something science/math related because it´s actually a little frightening how fascinated I am by a trivial thing such as a new calculator.
And today I spent all the time on this history project. I had to write the script for the video we´re trying to create and I spent too many hours doing that shit. It doesn´t help that I´m still pretty sick. Goddamn flu. But at least I´m listening to Lights Out Asia (very cool Post Rock band) and I can read some Good Omens fic now.
Good Omens is THE BOOK OF AWESOMENESS. Really, it is. You should all go and get it. It has a paragraph about lurking. Lurking is a fascinating activity.
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Hey my dear :)
AntwortenLöschenIt sounds like you have sooo much to do :/
School´s just annoying, because you don´t even have time for the real important things in life.
But school´s important too, that´s the problem, I think. I hate those days when I am just going to school and learning the whole time and the day ends and it was a senseless day. Somedays I am thinking that we all just live for the weekend. But don´t give up, Honey! Lots of people say: Don´t be so dramatic, it´s just school, we all had to go there. But it´s not just school! It´s hard and it is wasting so much of our time. Our days of being young and free. We can just go trough this and hope that it´ll be better some day. Just living for the important moments, full of feeling, the feeling of being alive. There must me something better some day. There will!
I am with you <3
Hey Layla... Das hört sich ja nicht so gut an, dass du so im Stress bist und es dir gesundheitlich schlecht geht :( Joa, Schulkram ist immer so eine Sache. Auf der einen Seite ist es irgendwie interessant, aber auf der anderen Seite nervt es, dass es einem wirklich seine ganze Zeit raubt... Ich hab die Erfahrung gemacht, dass man sich in diesem tristen Alltag ab und zu ein Highlight setzen sollte, irgendetwas, worauf man sich freut und wo man auch nachher noch schöne Erinnerungen dran hat :)
AntwortenLöschenIch hab mir Lights Out Asia mal angehört und muss sagen, dass die wirklich atemberaubende Musik machen :) Danke für den Tipp ;)
Ich wünsche dir eine sehr schnelle, gute Besserung und alles Gute :) Halt durch, das wird schon wieder ;)
@ Moon:
AntwortenLöschenThanks honey!
Yeah, I also think that school is often underestimated - at least if you actually care about it. And I do, I really really need an average of at least (!) 1,4. 1,3 would be better. 1,2 is what I´m aiming for :)
And you´re right, we´re basically wasting our days. I mean, it´s not as if anybody cares how our personality develops as long as we´re good in school, right?
Yeah, I´m definitely going out on Friday. I´m finally as close to healthy as possible again, which means that there are cocktails waiting for me. :)
And it´s just wonderful to have such awesome friends like you, my dearest.
*hugs*
@ Simon:
AntwortenLöschenDanke! Du bist immer so mitfühlend und verständnisvoll, das ist cool.
Und du hast absolut recht mit den Highlights, die man sich setzen muss! Ich treff mich jetzt zum Beispiel jeden Sonntagabend mit einer sehr guten Freundin, damit wir kurz vor dem grauenvollen Montag noch mal in Ruhe Zeit mit einander verbringen können.
Und normalerweise ist es ja auch nicht so extrem stressig, es ist nur momentan diese doofe Vorabi-zeit. Ich habe prinzipiell nur noch einen Monat Schule, da ist der Leistungsdruck natürlich entsprechend hoch.
Es freut mich sehr, dass dir Lights Out Asia auch so gut gefallen! Du kannst dir ja bei Gelegenheit auch mal Exxasens, This Will Destroy You, These Trees Could Talk, Long Distance Calling oder Radare anhören. Auch alles sehr tolle Post Rock Bands =)
Dankeschön nochmal!
:) Das bin ich doch gern und es freut mich, dass du es gut findest :)
AntwortenLöschenDas ist echt eine super Idee, dass ihr euch jeden Sonntagabend trefft! Ein letztes Mal noch Kraft tanken, bevor es wieder weiter geht, das hört sich toll an :)
Joa, kurz vor den Prüfungen geht's immer rund... Ich wünsche dir gutes Durchhaltevermögen, die passende Motivation und dann für die Prüfungen natürlich ganz, ganz viel Erfolg! :)
Die Bands werde ich mir bei Gelegenheit mal anhören :) Was mir in letzter Zeit auch total gefällt, ist God Is An Astronaut ;) Die kann ich auch nur empfehlen :)
Bittegern, Layla :) Liebe Grüße!